It can be hard for parents to see their children struggling. But even if your child doesn’t say it out loud, subtle clues can hint that they’re falling behind. Research shows children learn best when they feel safe and connected, so any sudden change in mood or behavior at school is worth noting. The pandemic has made many kids fall behind, with data showing that even as average test scores slowly recover, students who were already struggling have slipped further. Keep an eye out for these warning signs – and remember that catching problems early can make a big difference.
Refuses to Discuss School:
If your child suddenly clams‐up about their day or shrugs off questions like “How was school?” or “What did you learn?”, this may signal trouble. Parents and educators note that when kids stop talking about class or start saying “nothing” more often, it often means they’re frustrated or embarrassed.
Sudden Attitude Shift:
A child who was eager about learning may begin acting bored, upset, or “checked out.” Signs include putting in minimal effort on homework, complaining about classes they used to enjoy, or resisting assignments. Experts point out that a big change in attitude – “I hate math/school” – can be a red flag.
Physical Complaints on School Days:
Frequent stomach aches, headaches, or sudden tiredness right before school can be clues that something is wrong. According to educational specialists, kids often turn stress into physical symptoms. For example, a child who says they feel sick only on Mondays or before a test might actually be anxious about school challenges.
Homework Battles:
Notice if homework suddenly takes much longer, or your child storms off during assignments. Struggling kids may spend hours on work that used to take minutes, or start avoiding homework altogether. If math problems that were once easy now cause tears, or reading makes them melt down, that’s a sign of trouble. Similarly, if they seem to give up quickly or refuse to try challenging problems, it may mean they’ve lost confidence.
Avoidance of Challenges:
Watch for a new habit of saying “I can’t do it” or constantly asking you to check their work. Kids who are falling behind often try to dodge anything hard. Stride (K12) notes that low confidence and avoiding difficult tasks are common in struggling students.
Teacher Feedback or Grades Drop:
Sometimes the clearest sign is what the school tells you. Look for calls or notes from teachers about declining performance or repeated mistakes. A sudden drop in grades, or comments like “not turning in work” or “disruptive behavior,” shouldn’t be ignored. Even well-meaning “gifted” comments may hint at unmet needs.
If you’ve spotted one or more of these signs, the good news is there are practical steps you can take:
Talk and Listen:
Gently ask your child to share how they feel. Be patient and open. Research suggests kids open up more when they feel heard without judgment. Validate their feelings (“I understand this is hard”), and resist jumping immediately into “you must get an A” mode.
Consult the School:
Arrange a meeting with your child’s teacher or counselor. They can give you insight into what’s happening in class and suggest next steps. The school’s team often knows resources (like tutoring or learning specialists) that can help.
Check Underlying Issues:
Sometimes struggles are caused by undiagnosed problems like vision, hearing or learning differences. For example, a “good” reader suddenly struggling might simply need glasses, or have an attention issue. As Waterford.org notes, slipping grades can stem from things like needing glasses or even undiagnosed dyslexia/ADH. A quick eye exam or educational evaluation can be very illuminating.
Build Confidence:
Use positive reinforcement for effort. Praise progress on even small tasks. It might help to hire a tutor, sign up for an after-school program, or use online resources tailored to their struggles.
Be Patient and Supportive:
Changes won’t happen overnight. Continue offering encouragement and help. Remember, learning bumps are common and fixable with the right help. You’re not alone: other parents experience this and there is plenty of support available.
Catch these subtle signs early, and your child can get back on track – often with confidence restored and even with some fun along the way. With patience, a steady routine, and perhaps a little extra help, most kids thrive. The important thing is to trust your instincts as a parent and advocate for your child’s needs.
References:
Lisa Linnell-Olsen, June 9, 2022. “7 Warning Signs Your Child Is Struggling in School.” Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/warning-signs-your-child-is-struggling-in-school-2601436
Stride, Inc. (2023). “6 Signs Your Child Needs Extra Academic Support.” K12 Tutoring Blog. https://www.k12.com/learning-solutions/home-school-tutoring-blog/child-needs-extra-academic-support-signs.html
Cruz, Ursula (March 3, 2025). “5 Signs That Your Child Is Struggling in School.” SplashLearn. https://www.splashlearn.com/blog/child-struggling-in-school-tips-on-how-to-help-your-kids/
Miller, Caroline. (n.d.). “Help for Kids Struggling With Learning.” Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/help-kids-learning-struggles/
Jamison, Peter (January 18, 2024). “Homeschooling is surging, but lax regulation can leave kids vulnerable.” NPR (Fresh Air). https://www.npr.org/2024/01/18/1225324564/home-schooling-is-surging-but-lax-regulation-can-leave-kids-vulnerable
Schultz, Brooke (September 17, 2024). “Students Fell Behind During the Pandemic. Who Stayed Behind?” Education Week. https://www.edweek.org/leadership/students-fell-behind-during-the-pandemic-who-stayed-behind/2024/09/